David Otto

Sometimes life threatens to overpower youth. The severe illness or death of a loved one, loss of a home, divorce of parents, or involvement with drugs can be more than some adolescents can handle. So how can adults who work with youth help?

First

Look for possible signs of crisis. Sometimes youth in crisis have a difficult time relating to peers, parents, and others. Behavior that shows a lack of self-control (like binge drinking, casual sex, or smoking) may indicate that deeper issues are present. Withdrawal from friends and a defiance of all rules and regulations may suggest the presence of a painful situation that has caused depression and anger.

Of course, not all youth who exhibit some of these behaviors are in crisis. But such actions might signal you to ask important questions of the youth about family life, school, friends, and faith.

Second

Become familiar with the families of the youth. Visit youth in their homes. Establish a healthy, adult relationship with the family. Knowing the families of youth will often provide you with helpful information and insight into the daily joys, sorrows, and concerns of their lives.

Third

Present yourself as an adult who can listen. Invite youth to tell you about their lives in the way they choose. Art, music, and stories shared by youth are more revealing than a set of rapid-fire questions, judgments, and comments from you.

You may need to approach a youth with your concerns and feelings about his or her behavior. Do so in a way that communicates your caring and willingness to listen. Resist the temptation to making meaning of the actions of youth. Instead, ask youth what the meaning of their actions might be.

Avoid promising unconditional confidentiality to youth; sometimes the situation is life-threatening or has legal implications. These may require relaying important information to others about the youth in trouble.

Fourth

Realize that most of us are not professional counselors. As adult workers with youth, we can look for the signs of possible crisis, but we may lack the skills in discerning why such events occur or how to handle them.

Our role should not be one of intervention, but support, understanding, and nurture. We can be empathetic, demonstrating God’s love and grace during the hard times. We can, with the assistance of the church staff and local social service agencies, assist youth in finding the resources they need to deal with crisis in their lives. We can pray that God will be present with all who suffer hardship and grief.

Guidelines for Handling Crisis: Tools to Teach Youth and Adults

1. Never promise a youth unconditional confidentiality.
   
2. Inquire about the history of the crisis.
   
3. Admit that you are not an expert.
   
4. Do not become overly involved in the situation.
   
5. Image yourself as a consultant to a situation rather than as a helper to an individual.
   
6. Demonstrate genuine love and concern for the youth. Be honest about your concerns. Reflect a positive attitude about the youth, regardless of the circumstances.
   
7. Use reflective language skills to signal to the youth that you are listening and understanding.
   
8. Some crisis situations involving death (for instance, the death of a parent or sibling) require open empathy. Again, avoid providing the youth "reasons for" the crisis; for example, "God just needed another angel" or "It was just his time to go." Instead, focus on the grieving of the youth, providing opportunities to express feelings openly in a nonjudgmental environment. Explore death as a natural part of God’s world.

Steps for Recognizing Youth in Crisis

1. Look for signs of dysfunctional relationships with others.
   
2. Look for physical manifestations of crisis.
   
3. Look for signs of restricted behavior.
   
4. Establish and nurture a relationship with the family of the youth.
   
5. Look for similar signs of dysfunction within other siblings.
   
6. Ask the youth to check your perception(s).
   
7. Seek information about the youth’s performance in school.
   
8. In educational settings, use art and writing exercises frequently, especially when dealing with emotional or personal topics.
   

From YouthNet, © 1996 The United Methodist Publishing House. This material may be reproduced for educational purposes.