by John Page and Ron Whitler

Kim’s Story

Kim is a ninth grader. Her parents relocated to Anytown, USA, last month. Kim has been happy in her old town. She was involved in her church and did not want to leave it.

After settling into their new home, her family began visiting churches. At the first church they visited, Kim’s Mom dropped Kim off at the main entrance. Kim entered the building and heard youth voices down the hall. She walked toward the voices and found a room full of youth who were laughing and having a great time. She recognized a few people from school and said hello. They returned her hello, and then asked, “Hey, what are you doing here?”

They talked for a moment about school and then went back to their conversation about last summer’s youth mission trip. Kim listened.

When the program started, the youth director called the group together, discussed the new youth group T-shirts, and then went into a group discussion about missions (most of the talk was about last summer’s missions trip).

When Kim and Janet entered the front door of the church, a group of youth met Janet. She introduced the others to Kim. Talking, the teens walked down the hall together, and stopped briefly at a sign-in table. Janet introduced Kim to Mr. Volunteer, who recognized a new face and asked Kim to fill in a visitor card.

When Kim finished the card, Janet took her around to several groups of youth and adults and introduced everyone. Then Janet and Kim crashed on some couches and talked about school with other youth, until the meeting started.

During the meeting, Janet was asked by the leader to introduce Kim to the group, who welcomed her warmly. Then the group played a game, and Kim met several other youth and learned their names and interests. Later during the program, several youth shared their opinions and ideas. Kim even gave her opinion – she was in a safe place. The group closed with a prayer circle (the words for the group prayer were posted on the wall). Kim was invited to come back.

After the meeting, Kim’s mom picked up her and Janet and took Janet home. As they pulled away from Janet’s house, Kim volunteered, “I had a good time. I’d like to go back there next week.”

Why Welcome?

At one time or another we have all been in Kim’s situation: we’ve been somewhere we felt we didn’t belong. Newspapers and tabloid talk shows feature stories of youth in similar situations who seem to have fallen through society’s cracks.

Everyone needs to belong to something or someone. If we are to give life to youth, we must help them belong. Welcoming is the first step to helping youth belong or find their places.

As people of Christ, we are called to love God and our neighbor. Loving others and welcoming them into fellowship involves making an ongoing commitment to quality hospitality.

If we want to be a welcoming ministry, where are we now and how can we become one?

For some suggestions, let’s look at Kim’s experiences.

Week 1. Kim found the church

•When Kim entered the door she had to find her way around.

•She had to approach the group.

•The youth took no initiative to meet her.

•Kim had to speak first.

•No one said, “We’re glad you’re here.”

•Kim was not included in the conversation.

•The failure to introduce Kim left her out.

•Kim was excluded from the program (she hadn’t gone on the last trip).

•Kim didn’t know the words to the youth group song.

•She had no prayer partner.

•Kim was not included in planning where to go next.

•Kim waited alone.

•Kim’s visit was fairly typical.

Kim had to reach out to the group

Week 2. The church found Kim (Janet asked her).

•Kim walked into the building with someone she knew.

•From the beginning, Kim wasn’t alone.

•An adult sponsor met Kim at the table, recognized her as a visitor, and got information about her.

•Janet continued introducing Kim.

•Kim was included in the conversation (the topic was familiar to her).

•Kim was formally introduced and welcomed.

•The games helped Kim learn more about members of the group.

•Kim felt safe enough in the group to take some risks.

•The groups closing was accessible to Kim.

•Kim was invited back.

•Janet waited with Kim.

•Kim was never alone.

The group reached out to Kim.

Week 3. The rest of the story

What happened to Kim the week after her visit to the second church? Several youth from the group spoke to Kim at school. A youth called her during the week to invite her back and tell her about other opportunities at church. On Wednesday, she got a card in the mail from the adult youth leader. On Friday, Janet asked her about arrangements for attending on Sunday.

Making Sunday Morning Welcoming

One of our best opportunities to welcome youth comes when it is time to begin a new year of Sunday morning learning or to launch new learning options for youth. Successful promotion depends on intentional decisions and careful planning.

Since parents make most of the decisions affecting the lives of younger adolescents, we can include them when we plan experiences or communications. Here are some ways to help build parents’ trust.

•Write a letter outlining the vision and focus of your youth ministry.

•Learn who youth and parents are before they are invited to new programs.

•Have a parent orientation meeting.

•outline your regular schedules;

•introduce adult volunteers and youth leaders;

•tell parents how they will learn about activities.

•offer parents ways to be involved(snack suppers and mailings);

•plan a variety of activities so parents can feel a part of what’s up.

From Lifegivers, © 1997 by Abingdon Press. This material may be reproduced for educational purposes.

Brought to you by your youth ministry colleagues at Cokesbury.