by John Gocke

You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; for your anger does not produce God’s righteousness.
--James 1:19-20

As part of my job, I monitor conversations on message boards and list serves that cater to youth ministry professionals. On a daily basis I get to see what topics are on the minds of people in the field leading youth. Although I am not surprised by the variety of topics, the number of youth leaders who digitally assault one another astounds me. Their statements often are filled with disrespect, course language, and even profanity. While observing I often wonder why these people who are called of God to lead and serve choose to behave in such sarcastic and demeaning terms with one another. I know in normal circumstances they would not behave the same and then it occurred to me that being online is not a normal circumstance.

Many of us have taken tests where we read statements and pick out the one that does not fit with the others or one that is false while the others are true. It is an exercise in discernment between truth and falsehood and a healthy mental exercise. Let’s try one.

(A) You are sitting at church and the minister preaches a particular interpretation of Scripture with which you do not agree. You immediately stand up and yell that that interpretation is stupid and the preacher must have gone to an inferior seminary. You announce that your view of the verse is the only one that an intelligent person would embrace.
(B) At work you meet someone new. You both have an interest in theology and youth ministry and at lunch you discover that she shows R-rated movies to youth groups for discussion. You raise your voice telling her that she does not belong in a leadership position and must have serious psychological problems. You announce to everyone at the table that you no longer will listen to anything this person has to say including details as to why she shows the movies to teenagers.
(C) You are participating in a youth ministry email list serve or message board posting. Another youth worker has an opinion on cloning with which you disagree. You immediately type in a response like "Oh, your just a Baptist/Methodist/Calvinist/Liberal/Goth/Punk/Neo-Nazi/Youth Worker/Senior Pastor, I don't have to listen, because I know what you’re going to say/do/think/feel already." And to top off the stereotyping you use some course language and profanity.

If you picked answer C as the one that did not fit with the others, it was probably because you would never act so egregiously face to face with another person, especially not in church or at work. The people at church would ostracize you for being so rude (even if you were right), and the people at work would want you to get counseling before they would do any projects with you.

Why is it then that when some people get online they feel free to blast away at anyone with whom they disagree? How is it that they can show so little regard for a person’s feelings or worth as a human being? Few if any of us would yell at the kid coming to our door at night trying to sell magazine subscriptions but a few more of us probably have treated telemarketers in similar ways that we have email lists. Even more of us have probably yelled at other drivers from inside the safety of our own cars. Is this change in behavior a result of the protective distance from the person we are confronting—on the phone, or in an email, or playing a video game?

An increasingly popular online dimension is to create an Avatar: pictures, drawings, or icons that users choose to represent themselves—a digital representation of yourself when online or in a game. The Avatar can then embody traits that you might not manifest during “live, in-person” conversation. For the purposes of this article, I’m going to use the term Avatar to represent that persona, even if the manifestation is only text.

When online we often become a disembodied nameless spirit or Avatar that can fire at will at every impulse and yet be impervious to harm. In video games it’s called “god-mode” when your Avatar can dart around any corner, unleash a salvo of weapons fire at opponents, and laugh as they fire back with futility because you cannot be damaged in any way. This description seems to fit how many people apparently feel online at message boards and email list serves. When many log on to the Internet they translate themselves from organic beings to digital entities that operate under different rules than they do as mere humans. Nobody is going to inflict punishments on us for posting an anonymous message or make us pay for an attacking email.

Before you type a message on a list serve or message board, ask yourself these three questions:
· Do the rules for Christian conduct get suspended online?
· Can we separate our normal behavior in the real world from our online behavior?
· Can acting out in the digital world eventually influence our behavior in the real world?

When you log on to the Internet, don’t leave behind your Christian discipleship. You may feel like you are just venting, but you actually practice aggression every time you unload on another person—even online. This practice of venting makes the aggression feel more natural every time you do it. Enough repetition and you will not be imitating that out-of-control person anymore. That will be you!

Proverbs 15:4
The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

James 1:26
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

John Gocke is a veteran of youth ministry, having worked in various churches in Southern California and for Al Menconi Ministries, based in Carlsbad, California. John holds an MA in Theology from Point Loma Nazarene University and currently works on the staff of www.ileadyouth.com.

Other articles by John Gocke:
Eleven Signs of a Successful Youth Minister.
Dealing with sharing your office.
Christian Pirates?
Saying what you really think!
Cures for the Summertime Attendance Slump
Going Back in Time
The Epic Struggle Between Youth Pastors and Senior Pastors
You and Conan the Barbarian
A King Josiah-Kind of Christian
Fantasizing About Violence: Violent Video Games Promote Aggressive Behavior In Youth
Chico the Roach
Are you a Batman or Superman Christian?
Ten Skills They Don’t Teach You in Seminary
Teach your youth grace-not just mercy this Christmas
Five reasons you should encourage your youth to experience Christian music
Secular prophets in the business world and their lessons for us
Hollywood Secrets for Your Next Youth Meeting

Brought to you by your youth ministry colleagues at Cokesbury.

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