By Mike Ratliff

We live in a society that is permeated with sex. There are images and talk of sex everywhere—just turn on morning radio or your television, go to a movie, or look at the magazine rack. There are also the inevitable issues related to sex that those of us in youth ministry have to deal with on a regular basis.

Given the pervasiveness of sex in our lives, it seems that the church—who celebrates God as Creator—would be on the forefront of dealing with this explosive, yet vital gift from God. Guess again. We tend to ignore, avoid, or respond to the crisis of the moment, without a comprehensive plan that provides our youth, and the church at large, with a way of dealing faithfully with the topic. This default response will continue to hurt those with whom we minister.

Can our “Open Hearts, Open Minds, and Open Doors” policy apply in this area of the church? Can we open our hearts to those whose hearts ache; whose minds wander; and who find our doors closed to them because of what they have done, are doing, or what has been done to them? The answer must be an enthusiastic and emphatic “yes.” We cannot respond to the call of Christ upon our lives and ignore such a fundamental element of our lives. God wants to be God of all. That all has to include who we are as sexual beings.

How can we do it? Here are some suggestions:

Make It Personal. Where are you in relation to God’s gift of Sexuality? How do you understand who you are as a sexual being, created by God? And how do these understandings carry through in your relationships—both personal and professional? We need to explore our own images and theology of a healthy sexuality before we are ready to lead others into doing the same. Begin where you are. Every church is different, and every youth group has its special situations and needs. The context of ministry where we are also determines how we respond. We must understand our ministry setting and begin with the most vital issues that are confronting us.

Involve the Church. This is not a programming decision that should be made only in the area of youth ministry. The possible results can be very positive; but handled poorly, they can turn hurtful and destructive. Involve the leadership of your congregation in decision-making, direction, and leadership of a comprehensive sexuality initiative.

Get Help. As you seek to understand the need and direction for addressing sexuality training in your local situation, find the help you need. Over the past several years, I have taught a class at Perkins School of Youth Ministry that has provided local youth workers with the tools to initiate a comprehensive youth sexuality program in their churches. More and more conferences are providing training for local church leaders to respond to this need.

Find Resources. There are a number of resources available. As you evaluate resources, be sure that they deal with issues you need to address and that they reflect a theology that is consistent with that of your church. Let’s Be Real (leader’s guide), Let’s Listen (parent’s resource), and Let’s Decide (student handbook) are resources you can find at Cokesbury. As your ministry develops in the area of sexuality and faith, you will find your program evolving and drawing from several different resources—maybe even your own.

Decide on Leadership. Will you lead this program, or will you have someone come in from outside your congregation to provide leadership? Some conferences have trained persons who will train local persons and help lead your program. Others too can help you with training and leadership. My goal is for youth leaders to be the leader in their own church. Being a leader in your church will open doors you never imagined in relationships with your youth.

Do It! This is a topic that is just too important to leave to chance. It can be a matter of life and death. It is a matter of faith, and God wants to be involved in this part of the lives of youth as much as any other. Our faithful response will provide the foundation for our youth to be more faithful in their response.

Other articles by Mike Ratliff:
When the F Word was Dirty.
Say Goodbye to the Lone Ranger.

Mike Ratliff, an ordained deacon, is part time Youth Pastor at St. Andrew United Methodist Church in Centennial, Colorado. He is also the Director of Crossties, focusing on consulting and leadership for local church youth ministry. The author of Sacred bridges and numerous articles and curriculum pieces, Mike has been in youth ministry for 30 years.

Brought to you by your youth ministry colleagues at Cokesbury.

© 2003 The United Methodist Publishing House. This material may be reproduced for educational purposes only.

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