Sacred Bridge 1: Building Relationships, Youth

The first "sacred bridge" is Building Relationships. How do we help youth build relationships with other youth?

Youth Relating to Youth
Anyone who comes to the church wants to feel welcome. That's the first place for us to examine. How is our hospitality toward senior high youth?

Anyone who comes to the church a second time wants to feel a sense of belonging, of being a part of the community. For the most part churches and youth ministries focus on building community. Often they do that very well—once the youth are in the doors!

"Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them." — Matthew 18:20 (NRSV)

However, we discovered with senior high youth a need to go further than just a sense of community. They long for intimacy, for a place where they can know one another at a deeper level, where they can open up and know they will still be loved.

One theme that came through the stories of success was the power of small groups. In these settings senior high youth were finding this need for intimacy met.

Assignment
Read Sacred Bridges, pages 15–18.

Taking Stock: Building Relationships (Youth)
Begin now to assess your own congregation's strengths and weaknesses in helping youth build relationships with other youth. Indicate Agree (A) or Disagree (D) for the following statements about Hospitality, Community, and Intimacy:

Hospitality

• ____ New senior high youth would find our church welcoming.


• ____ In general, adults speak to new persons.


• ____ Youth speak to new youth.


• ____ Youth intentionally include a new youth in the group or activity.

Community

• ____ Generally, youth have a sense of belonging in this church.


• ____ Youth feel that they can contribute to the life of the church.

Intimacy

• ____ Small groups of youth or youth and adults meet over a period of time.


• ____ Youth feel that there are people with whom they can "go deep" into issues and personal struggles.

Which of these are your congregation's strengths? Its weaknesses?

Later you will have the opportunity to check your perceptions with other youth and adults on these issues.

Sacred Bridge 1: Building Relationships, Adult Leaders
From the research, we discovered that we could not focus solely on what was happening or needed to happen with the youth. For each of the four sacred bridges, adults have a crucial role.

Adults Relating to Youth
Time for building relationships with adult leaders is crucial. Not surprisingly, when the turnover among adult volunteers and professional staff is like a revolving door, we find youth exiting also.

Another surprising finding is that relationships with adult leaders aren't the only ones that count. Connections within the congregation are also valued by senior high youth. The glue that holds many of them is being a part of the larger community of faith, having friendships with other adults, and finding mentors—formally or informally—among the congregation. These connections help youth feel cared for and important.

Assignment
Read Sacred Bridges, pages 18–20.

Taking Stock: Building Relationships (Adults)

• During the last four years how many different adult leaders and teachers have worked with the senior high youth? How many do you recall? What's your best estimate?


• Create a list and estimate for each person how long each stayed.


• In general, are friendships flourishing among your youth and people in the congregation who are not "officially" in your youth ministry programs? What percentage of the senior highs would you estimate have a good friendship with an adult in the congregation who is not a relative or a leader or teacher?
Continue with Part 3 of the workshop